Humour Corner: SPLM Monologue


Jiriak is a columnist for NSV

(Toronto) – ‘Where do I begin? I have had a hellish hectic time of late. And of late I don’t mean you look back at the previous fortnight or so. Glancing back through time since my inception till present, I have noticed quite a few setbacks not befitting my treatment.

Despite all this, I’ve never stopped short of being the umbrella under which you, who once were my fathers, mothers, guardians and custodians, but now are my children, all of you from South Sudan, those of you who are marginalized in other parts of the Sudan, can find succor.

I have brought you together and given you hope about your future which you envisioned at times as oblivion. I have been everything you’ll ever hope for in caregiver. Yet you’ve never stopped short of letting me down, and disappointing me to the highest order. And what’s worse, you show no indication of stopping that in the near future. As such, I cannot hold my peace any longer. I cannot continue watching as you go on annihilating me profusely, and shamelessly if I may add.

‘I was conceived and my name was unanimously agreed upon, by the dignitaries who are, sadly and unfortunately, not with us today. I was conceived to conquer those from the north who were mistreating those who were through time would become my children. Yet some years later, some went against my principles and joined the very villains I was supposed to conquer.  How was I supposed to effectively complete my task when I was forced to kill those I should’ve been protecting?

As if that was not enough, my others followed suite. That almost led to my downfall but I picked myself up and continued the struggle.  Those who remained lured back those who left and my joy was partly completed when almost all of my sons and daughters were back on one boat following the signing of the CPA.

‘Worse still followed that. Infighting! Needless infightings occurred. People started ‘tribalizing’ me though there was no indication of that. I will assert again. I have always embraced you as one, and I will continue to do so. Small groupings have sprung up everywhere on the globe trying to challenge me. They forget that I made them! My spirit has completely diminished among you, my children, notably among the younger generation.  Are you not aware that those who brought about my conception were almost your age at that time? 

I was very saddened at the way the day that was supposed to commemorate my anniversary was scarcely attended by you younger generation. Some of you intentionally skipped the speeches and showed up only for the party that was to follow at the various venues around the globe. Do you not care about your future, and do you not know that you need to keep close to me so I can equip you with the necessary tactics to navigate the thickets of life?

 ‘Lastly but not the least, I’m dismayed by the reluctance by those entrusted with carrying my flag to use my ticket and contest the presidency of the country. Is what I have achieved so far not proof enough of my strengths to heal the wounds of the whole country? Is no one among you not bold enough to present himself/herself before the populace and promise to take the country to a new lever using my ticket?  How could you be so heroic in taking up arms to liberate the country yet none of you has the courage to attempt to lead the country by people’s consent?

‘I’m hoping my words did not fall on deaf ears.  I want you as my children to heed them and all will be well with you. I’m here for your own good.

‘I, SPLM, have ended my rant here!!!

*Jiriak Manasseh is  a student at University of Toronto, Canada, studying Double Major, Environmental Geosciences and Chemistry. He can be reached at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it . He’s a columnist for The New Sudan Vision.


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