Humour Corner: Of the vessels, their emptiness and the sound

Category: Writing aboard the Kenya Airways: A story on coming to Rwanda for the first time
Published on Friday, 13 March 2009 17:01
Written by Jiriak Manasseh, The New Sudan Vision (NSV), www.newsudanvision.com
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Dear reader,

jiriak
Jiriak Manasseh is a columnist for The New Sudan Vision

Please be informed that at no point has an effort been made to refer to any particular person, either dead, alive or yet to be born in the article you’re about to read and in the subsequent articles that will follow.

The sole purpose of this article, and any other article that is to follow in this column, is an attempt by me, and other contributors, to cleverly use words and make the readers have a light moment, as we all know it's is a pretty much rare resource to come by in these dire circumstances, either due to the current global economic difficulties, your vicinity or simply because you’re one of those hard to please blokes!

Any likeness of characters to actual person/people you may know, or to yourself, or even to myself, is a mere coincidence! I know it won’t surprise me if it does happen. Please read on……

Ever since junior school, all the way to high school, I’ve always heard that ‘empty vessels make the most sound.’ We all know what the connotation is.  I’ve heard people say that I’m a quiet person, loudly!

I’ll be indifferent to that knowing that I’ve never shut up ever since lips moved and my voice let out a discernible SOUND concurrently, and since then I’ve always heard myself yapping, and to some extent, even in  my sleep, if some source were to be believed. I recall days when I was so argumentative that people simply dreaded engaging me in a topic! I had this tendency of defending my point that made it look like Charles Darwin standing in front of that beardy, pipe-smoking panel of scholars, going on and on about his theory of evolution natural selection. And talking of natural selection, my first stop is at the ‘naturally selected social commentators!’ Perhaps that name is an understatement. This group contains experts of all sorts. Politics, social issues, sports, family matters, relationships….. In fact, if you can name it, they’ll help you with it.

More often than not, you’ll come across some really knowledgeable blokes like the one I came across during one of my clattering episodes. The storyline is quite intriguing in that the guy just yapped on and on about all the places he’s been to, oblivious of the fact that he was badly mixing up the towns/cities with the wrong countries.

One member of the audience dared do the unthinkable by asking the man of the moment if he was conversant with something called a ‘map’ and funnily enough the man altercated that he had been to ‘map’ and actually spent a few days there!!!!!!

It is quite amazing though, how the perpetrators always prey on the innocence of the ‘unknowing’, those not well acquainted with the subject and could just imbibe whatever it is thrown at them. I can bet my pair of shoes that I got on sale on this one. Those who are always speaking heartily about their knowledge prowess are always those with shallowest knowledge base. Prove me wrong and my pair of shoes is yours!

I like people, a lot. And I always want to meet new ones, all the times. But I’ll tire of someone in a jiffy if all they have to do is tell me ‘I can do that this fast…’ ‘I know so and so’ ‘I am……’ ok you get the point.

We are cool with each other if our discussion is ‘ideas based!’ I hate it the most when there’s a news bulletin on TV, and then one of the people decides that they can ‘explain’ it better than the newscaster, even when it is evidently obvious that everyone understood the newscaster accurately. Others make it really hard for others when they decide to take over a movie or something of the sort and decide to describe the scenes and actions, or letting out loud gasps of astonishments whenever something happens in a scene.

Another thing I used to loathe and which I really think I will never come to terms with, are the blokes with the small portable radios, which they turn on in the wee hours of the night, at the crack of dawn and make sure that everyone in the neighbourhood knows they own one. I have no problem with listening to the news, and always keeping yourself informed. My query is, ‘Does it have to be so loud?’

Throw in the competitiveness, which is the natural tendency of human beings and you have about 10 radios blaring the airwaves at the crack of dawn, when for some unbeknown reasons, the sleep seems to be sweeter!

Bah! How I wish the global connectivity is achieved sooner!

I wonder what explanations our experts have now to give us a route map out of the economic crisis.  Wait a minute, before you listen to anyone, determine how much sound they produce!!!

Have a ‘Soundful’ Week Folks!!

*Jiriak Manasseh is  a student at University of Toronto, Canada, studying Double Major, Environmental Geosciences and Chemistry. He can be reached at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. He's a columnist for The New Sudan Vision.